Random Jack Bauer Facts

Okay, it's Friday evening, I'm exhausted and have three more exhausting days ahead of me. It's time for silly, made up facts about a TV character! In the mold of the Random Chuck Norris Facts, I bring you a few select (and clean) Random Jack Bauer Facts. Trust me: if you watch "24," this will be hi-larious.

Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer were in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the bomb was.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with violence.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."

Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."