In the abstract, changing the oil in a car is not difficult. Messy, perhaps, but not terribly challenging. In my case, it's a bit more involved. Partial dismantling of the car is involved.
First, the car must be on a lift or jack stands. Then, the right rear wheel must be removed. And the right rear wheel liner must be pulled back. And don't forget to take off the rocker panel cover that runs the entire length of the right side of the car.
Now we are ready to drain the oil. Problem: the plug is too close to the jackstand location to allow the oil recycling container to rest below, so I have to hold a spare bucket by hand to catch the oil that cascades out. Of course, I have to jam the plug back in halfway through the process because the car holds about 8 quarts in the reservoir, and the bucket only holds about 4. Dump out the oil from the bucket into the recycling container, pull the plug again, and resume. Messy. Even though I now resemble one of Red Adair's fieldhands, I resolve to put off running through half a roll of paper towels to clean my hands, arms and possibly forehead until after I have removed and replaced the oil filter (holding onto the filter with one hand and the dump bucket in the other to keep at least some portion of the oil off the floor).
So, oil drained and filter replaced. Done? Not even close. This being a comically over-engineered German vehicle, there is another drain plug under the engine. Plus, there is another oil filter, tucked away where it cannot be seen or touched until several hoses underneath the engine are disconnected. The crankcase plug is easy to handle because the recycle container fits under it, but the second filter is a nightmare. It took a solid ten minutes of crawling under the car and squinting into road-grimey crevices, and repeated retreats from under the car to recheck my reference materials, before I could even find the thing. Adding injury to insult, the filter dumped its contents down both of my forearms as I searched for a way to smuggle it past engine parts and suspension pieces.
Finally, all the old oil was out, the new filters were in, and the plugs were tight. Oh rapture! All that remained was to fill it back up with 11 quarts of oil. Naturally, the oil filler is tucked away in the corner of the engine bay under the side panel of the body and cannot be accessed directly, making a simple fill-up impossible. After eight-plus years of ownership, I have learned of these quirks and have acquired the necessary tools, including funnels, necessary to deal with these design ... challenges. Eight quarts in, the car decided it needed some time to digest the new oil and burped several ounces of oil back up the filler pipe, where it landed on portions of the engine and muffler assembly inaccessible to humans. My fellow commuters may think differently, but I find nothing alarming about trailing a cloud of oil smoke behind me for the several days it will take to burn off all of that overflow.
Thankfully, after firing the engine up to allow the oil to flow from the reservoir into the crankcase, thus clearing space for the remaining three quarts (yes, it is standard operating procedure to top up the oil with the engine on), the oily part of the job was done. I cleaned the rocker panel cover and wheel before reattaching them to the car, lowered the car off the jacks, and congratulated myself on the successful completion of a task I should have known how to do years ago.
Then I spent the rest of the afternoon scrubbing the garage floor, trying to remove evidence of what appeared to be a visit from the Exxon Valdez.
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