Culinary Incorrectness

And now, another self-indulgent Andy Rooney moment:

Don't you just hate the way Taco Bell makes their tacos? I mean, the ingredients are acceptable, in their low cuisine way. But what about how they're put together? Look at this:



See anything wrong? Taco Bell's fast food rival McDonalds sure did. Remember the McDLT? It kept the "hot side hot and the cool side cool" through the magic of oversized styrofoam containers? (Click here for proof, and to see the low point of Jason Alexander's career. I defy you to watch it without hearing ironic George Costanza overtones. A word of caution: the Unintentional Comedy Meter runs into the red for this one.) McDonalds understood that temperature matters to the palate, and it kept the cool lettuce from wilting against the hot hamburger patty.

In contrast, in its basic tacos, Taco Bell has ineptly insisted upon jamming lettuce against the reheated meat substance (or, even worse in the case of the Supreme shown above, slops sour cream on the meat, followed by the lettuce). Meanwhile, marooned on top of the lettuce lies the cheese, the one element foodstuff in the ensemble that should get cozy with the meat. Melted cheese and crisp lettuce -- good. Limp lettuce and cold cheese that falls onto your lap -- bad. Come on, Taco Bell. Get it right.

Rest assured, any guests to our house on taco night will be duly served with properly constructed tacos. No tortured greenery or misapplied dairy products here.