You Must Have Heard About This By Now

Chuck Norris is enjoying quite the renaissance these days. This article provides a succinct explanation as to why his name has been before the eyeballs of millions of computer users lately. Simply put, a wiseacre Brown freshman came up with what he calls The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator. The sole purpose of this internet backwater is to ironically celebrate the stoic (some might say wooden) toughness of the only-slightly-legendary actor and martial artist.

The jokes seem lame at first, but they're pretty amusing once the cumulative effect of their absurdity breaks down your defenses. Here are some samples from the article linked above (because they are some of the clean ones, and because Norris himself purportedly likes them):

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

A few my own favorites:

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.